I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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