I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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