dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
