The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
