I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
