It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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