Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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