After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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