He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
