i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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