i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You can't just leave with hair like that
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
