Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
