your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
