ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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