I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
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her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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