fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
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she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
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Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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