So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
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Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
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I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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