While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
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