I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
