I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
