she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
