That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
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he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
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Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Randomize