K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize