can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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