dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
