I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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