i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
