Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
