why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
