I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
