thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize