HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
