Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
