So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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