omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
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