Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
