So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize