Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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