i'm lost and i look like a hooker
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize