hell yes lets make some ravioli
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
