I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
