this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
