Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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