they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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