I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
