who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Randomize
