Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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