I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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