i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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