I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
