half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
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I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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