Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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