Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
