no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
