Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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