Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
