please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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