Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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