The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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