that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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