Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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