This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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